In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
You can eat dinner at 4:00.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
You got cable for the weather channel.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
You have great friends who think of you often and send you lists like this!
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